Your child is guaranteed to have a bad day. It is usually much harder for Mom and Dad to watch than it is for the child. They may not make the team, got a bad grade, having friend struggles, don’t like their teacher, overwhelmed with homework, or maybe they are just having a “horrible, no good, very bad day”.
You want to fix it, because that is what Mom and Dad do, right?
If you always fix it for them, they will grow up to be adults that don’t know how to take responsibility for their feelings and/or their actions. Instead, teach them a skill that they can use for a lifetime.
Of course, it is ok for them to be upset, disappointed, angry, or sad, if that emotion fits, so let them feel their feelings for a moment, just don’t let them get stuck in a “poor pitiful me” attitude.
What you don’t want to happen is “I made a bad grade” turn into “I am stupid, I can’t do it, I am worthless”. Negative thinking can lead to a downward spiral which can end with living a negative life where they will never find happiness.
Teach your child how to mindshift. Do you know how to mindshift? It can be life changing, so it is a good practice to start with a child that they will carry through life with them.
Mindshift is a change of focus and perception.
- When a negative thought creeps in, answer the question “Is this thought benefitting me?” If not, don’t let it control your mind. The more you are aware of your thinking, the better you are at being in control of your thoughts.
- Replace the negative thought with a positive thought. Instead of focusing on what you can’t do or what you don’t have, think of what you do have and what you can do.
- Start a daily gratitude journal. Gratitude helps you focus on the good things and blessings you have in your life, rather than focusing on what you don’t have.
The better your child is at recognizing their thinking patterns, the better they are at realizing that they and their thoughts are not the same.
We all have the ability to take charge of our thoughts and not let them take charge of us. The second you recognize this is when you’re able to live a life free from your mind.